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Bars and Drunkards Jokes, Dead drunk!
Dead drunk!
A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards further he’s stopped by a police officer.
Officer: “Good evening sir. We’re testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please blow into this machine?”
...
Exchanging notes!
A guy walks in a bar, and buys a huge beer. Then he sees someone he knows, and decides to go and say hi to them, but he does not want to drag his beer mug with him.
So he sets it on a table, along with a note “I spit in this beer”...
Judgments
There were three men at a bar. One man got drunk and started a fight with the other two men. The police came and took the drunk guy to jail.
The next day the man went before the judge.
The judge asked the man, “Where do you work?”
...
The boss!
A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says:
“The parrot on the left costs 500 dollars”.
“Why, does the parrot cost so much” asks the first...
The comparison!
Two women, who are dog owners, are arguing which dog is smarter:
First woman : My dog is so smart. Every morning he waits for a paper boy to come around and then he takes a newspaper and brings it to me.
Second woman : I know
First one :...
Who is the Mightiest?
A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”
The trembling monkey says, “You are, mighty lion!
Later, the lion confronts...
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